Saturday, June 18, 2005

Image hosted by

The thing that my brothers are best for is reminding me that even the cutest of children will eventually turn into a teenager.
Having my family here is rough, and I find myself having to forcibly unclench every evening. It's nice to see them but I'm more than ready for them to go home.

Anyway, I was tagged by Chas to tell you all five things that I miss about childhood. It's possible that I'll go back and add the linking game that goes with it later, but for now I'm tired and just going to talk. So:

I miss the idea that my family was where I belonged. I grew up with a big bunch of aunts and uncles who were all really close, and since my father was the oldest child I was the oldest niece. My family was always around and I felt included and important. They've since grown up and gotten distant and crazy, and I feel like a turtle without a shell. None of us know each other any more.

I miss truly believing that M&M's were better than money because you could eat them.

I miss believing that life can at any moment turn into a rock video. Perhaps it's because everyone I grew up around was so young, but every day always felt like an adventure. They were always doing things and making things and being so fabulous, and every minute felt charged with something special.

I miss feeling like I inhabit my whole body. Most days I feel a little too small for my skin, a little like bits and pieces are missing. When I was a kid, I felt so full of who I was that I thought I could burst.

I miss not being self conscious. Kids, man, they'll do anything and not worry about who might be watching. And that's funny because people are always watching what kids are doing. Now I find myself holding back on so many of my impulses because of who might be looking, even though no one ever is.

Tag! You're all it.

No comments: