Monday, June 13, 2005

There isn't anything I have to say today that sounds any different from what I've said before.

However, my family will be in town on Wednesday, so here is what you ought to know about my petit demi-freres:

13 1/2 years old. The 1/2 is very, very important.
Is afraid of dolls and "being jacked."
Only eats hamburgers, pizza, chicken fingers, and spicy teriyaki.
Can't wait to wear his Jimi Hendrix t-shirt in Seattle.
Once hit himself in the face with a golf club. Accidentally. I'm still not sure which laws of physics he broke for that one.
Always has a plastic snake or six somewhere on his person.
Used to run around the house naked yelling, "Heeeeeere comes nakee man!"
Also answers to Mustafa, Scooter, and Hey-you-the-tall-one.

10 11 1/2/12. Seriously. He'll be 11 on the 29th.
Is afraid of cannibals.
Will eat anything not nailed to the floor except eggs, especially loves cheese (but only the kind individually wrapped in plastic).
Forgets the punchline to jokes, leaves the room, and comes back to tell them hours later when everyone has forgotten the beginning.
Once hit himself in the face with a golf club.
Also once bit a chunk out of the living room wall.
Would dance naked in front of the living room window after bathtime.
Also answers to: Elvis, Sugar, and Short Stack.

My headache has been going since Friday, and I'm pretty sure that at this point I'm so over-medicated that my teeth are buzzing. Or anyway, my teeth are buzzing, and I'm blaming it on the eight-to-ten headache stoppers I've been taking every day. The latest applicant for my houseboy position (snicker, snicker) is only available for a few days in July, and so tonight I think I'll try to dull the pain with a series of gin-and-tonics. If that doesn't work, I'm afraid I'll be out in the night snatching pain-free brains from unsuspecting passers-by.

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