Monday, August 25, 2008

I haven't tried any of my tiny white pills yet, although I should--my heart is still careening crazily around my chest whenever I pause to think about it. I just haven't been home much, lately. Dance parties and tea parties and party parties and what have you. Always moving.

In the mornings I wake up to find sparrows sitting on my balcony. This is because my plants are all blooming and going to seed, but I don't mind because an old psychic once told me that sparrows are my spirit creature. Normally I am terrified of birds, but these birds make me feel like the universe is watching out for me. Perhaps I should make them a house.

The weather the last couple of days has been perfect, all cool and rainy but not cold. I have had my summer, have worn tiny clothes, spent a few months with a beautiful tattooed boy, kissed strangers on dance floors. I'm declaring it 2009 for me on my birthday next week because so much of this year has been so bad, and the rain and the new year make me want to spend the next few months huddled on my couch watching Humphrey Bogart movies with a boy who dresses like he works for NASA in the '50's. (Do you dress like you worked for NASA in the '50's? Call me. Bonus points if there are tattoos hidden under those rolled up sleeves.) I think that the weather should be on a year-round school sort of schedule--three months of lovely cool and rainy and one week of warm and sunny. Plenty of time to make soup and eat ice cream.

I need a change, and as soon as I figure out what it is, I'll make it. Swear.

No comments: