When I woke up this morning, my whole skin hurt. Not badly, just lightly bruised all over, like after a long afternoon rolling down unforgiving hills. From the top of my silly haircut to the tips of my cold little toes. I lay there in my warm comfortable bed for a few minutes, considering. I haven't fallen down lately, and I wasn't drinking last night in order to have fallen down and forgotten it. Didn't feel sick; probably not the flu. So I did what any sensible person would do in such a situation: demanded sympathy.
Tobes answered the phone quietly--it was about 11:00 on the East coast and he was at work making widgets or whatever he does now. "Captain Toby," I wailed, "my skin hurts all over and I think I might be melting! Feel sorry for me right now, please!" I could here him click something on his computer and then draw a breath. "Poor mouse," he answered, "should I call you a whaaaambulance?"
In retaliation I called his girlfriend and told her I needed her to short sheet their bed for me tonight. Jerk.
So by tonight my skin still hurts and I think I'm going to take a very long bath. I'm probably just very tired, after Wednesday's lengthy girlparty and last night's show. Inside my head is all rungohide, so everything is normal there, and I'm just playing "When Sunny Gets Blue" over and over again until I feel differently about things. (There are many reasons that that song is my favorite in the whole history of songs, but the big one is that for the entire length of it I feel exactly perfect.) I find it incredibly amusing that I've got you all fooled into seeing Confident and Well Put Together when, if you were to put a buttercup under my chin, you would really see Vulnerable and Easily Broken all stained yellow. But I picked these shoes, and now I'll have to just brazen out the rest of the walk.
Be nice to me, or I will short sheet your bed.
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