Dear Women Who Use the 6th Floor Bathroom,
I know that the fact that the toilets flush when you leave the stall is nifty, but please listen for the noise in order to be sure that everything has functioned properly before you exit the bathroom. This will make all of us, but especially me, much happier with our excretory experience.
I have a cold, and colds make me grumpy. (The bottom line may be that everything makes me grumpy, but I'll leave that alone for now.) I've been huddled in my cubicle for the last two days poking away anyone that tries to send me home. It's a funny thing. If they told me to go home early on a day when I wasn't sick, I'd be out of here so fast there'd be a little puff of cartoon dust behind me.
This has always been trouble. All the way through college I'd duck out on class for the slightest reasons, but the second I felt feverish I'd dig in and become studious. I went to class the whole week when I was so sick with pneumonia and bronchitis, and I wasn't even going to meals then. I'm sure I must feel that I have to prove something, and I'm sure I should stop. But I probably won't.
In which case, I should really disinfect my cube on Monday.