Lessons From the Kissing Booth

I went researching headaches today, in an attempt to pin down why exactly it is that occasionally my brain tries to force itself out my tear ducts, causing me in reaction to throw all of my energy into pretending that no, actually, it isn't that bad. This was not a very good idea, because the problem with looking up medical conditions online is that there's no built in braking system and so things accelerate quickly from 'tension headache' to 'brain tumor.'
Or anyway, that's what happened today.
I stumbled across the phrase 'cluster headaches,' which I thought was very impressive and decided I should have. I was doing quite well with the symptoms, too, until I came to 'drooping eyelid' and some things that had to do with bits that have never even met my head. So I passed on that one.
In the end, I've decided that I identify most with the 'idiopathic stabbing headache,' although the most likely answer is that I'm having stress headaches from the exact same stress that is providing me with my soul-robbing depression. I'm working hard (or at least laying on my couch and thinking fondly about working hard) at making all of that go away, and maybe once I manage to make things change this bastard of a headache will make its final disappearance. In the meantime, it's time to research some 'idiopathic stabbing headache' support groups. Can you imagine? We'd spend our time comparing mewling techniques and discussing whether it's more useful to redirect the pain or to stare it straight on.
I didn't like any of the brain tumor symptoms, so I've crossed that one off the list.