Monday, May 12, 2008

I am filled with nervous energy these days, cooking and organizing and rearranging, avoiding thinking about something that I've been waiting for. Something which doesn't seem to be coming.

On Saturday night I went dancing with some friends, walking a mile to meet my ladies in a new dress and high boots. Uphill and face first into the wind. Into the wind is one of my favorite ways to walk--fighting the breeze takes up all the space inside my head that I usually save for worrying about what I can't control. The stronger the wind, the better.
Hours later I walked home, the backs of my thighs burning, a line of sweat still drying down my back. Happy and limping slightly, from a slow to heal and much abused bone bruise on the bottom of my foot.
I am slow to heal in all ways. Easily broken. Fractures splintered all along all of my old fault lines.

When the phone rang a little after 1:30, I turned left instead of right inside my head, and let it ring. Many of my momentums are bad ones.

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