Thursday, March 24, 2005

Dear everyone,

Here it is now, almost the end of March. I go back and forth every day between, 'how is it March already?' and, 'oh, christ, is it still March?' I won't say that I'm starting to write you letters every month--that's too much like a commitment, and we all know how good I am at those--but I will say that occasionally a summing up is necessary.
Things are still going well. I could tell you that and leave it and completely ignore the fact that I've spent most of my free time this week curled up reading Francesca Lia Block books and feeling fragile. But all I'd be doing in that case is lying to myself in front of all of you, and lying to myself is what I'm trying to do less of. Things are going well and I have no reason to be unhappy, but I still sort of am. It happens. I could also pretend to be welcoming to platitudes about the nonlethal nature of rejection and to cliches about seas and the vast numbers of fish in them, but honestly I talk to my grandmother regularly and can get that sort of stuff from her. I am grumpy and rejected, but I'll get over it. Promise.
Cat and Steph came over last night for a girl's night in. Cat brought brownie fixings and Steph, who is obviously somewhat psychic, brought ice cream and flowers, both of which were completely fantastic. It's only been in the last few years that I've started cultivating relationships with other girls. Now I can't imagine life without my girlfriends, who are all amazing and strong and wonderful women that anyone should be proud to know. (We plan to go dancing next Thursday. Anyone else? Ass shaking? 80's night at Neighbors? Be there or be trapezoidal.)
I'll have been at my job for six months in about a week, and occasionally I just have to marvel at the total about-face my world has done in the last six months. Seattle has indeed been good to me. The Peach People's wedding is in just a couple of months, and I'm looking forward to presenting myself as a samantha more myself than I've ever been before. Moreover, I'm looking forward to this whole summer, which promises to be full of traveling and parties and cocktails and friends, and all of the other things that make life worth it.


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