Friday, February 29, 2008

Dear everyone,

Happy leap day! I've been wishing for weeks that I knew someone with a birthday today, because a leap birthday party sounds like a lot of fun. When you only get one everyone four years, you pretty much have to do it up properly.

A friend and I actually declared it February a week early, attempting to leave January well behind, but February was in a lot of ways harder. I hit bottom this month, but only in my own head, because I've felt guilty abusing the friendliness of the people I know. It's one of my worst habits, and I've been exhausted.

But as a result I've also been very busy, almost over scheduled, and it's left me little time to dwell. And today when I left the office I walked out into rain and bluster, and it felt like breathing again. The cold sunny days we've been having are pretty, but I need a few months of wind and rain to clean out what's sitting like marbles under my skin, and there just hasn't been enough of it lately.

Still, I have spent much too much time already this year crying in cabs and doubting myself, and I'm bored of it. I'm ready for a change. In just over a month I'll be off on my trip, and in the meantime I need to shore up my self-confidence and fondness for adventure. I need to pull my skin back around all of my holes.

Lucky for me, that's one of the things I do best.


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