Wednesday, June 20, 2007

There are a lot of things that I disapprove of most highly, and one of those things is guys on a scaffolding outside my balcony first thing in the morning. What's up, construction guys? Just stumbling out of my bedroom in my underpants. My hangover and I are glad to see you too.

The ladies are good for one drink too many, for wandering the bar looking for that boy you wanted to kiss. The ladies are good for dancing and laughing and telling funny bedroom stories. The ladies are good for telling you how great you are when you don't feel so fabulous, for planning weekend trips to Vegas, and for being super sexy. The ladies are good.

Also, inspired by my pal Buster, a letter to my younger self:

Dear little me,

You will survive all of this and, one day, be thankful for the person it has turned you into.

You're going to spend too much time feeling guilty about things that are not your fault. I can't tell you how to fix this, because I still don't know, but you can help it feel less important by realizing that these things really aren't your fault. Once you stop blaming yourself for everything, stand up for yourself. Do not let anyone hit you or belittle you ever again.

Don't worry so much. Break what you're thinking about down into what you can fix and what you can't, and then break what you can fix into manageable pieces and fix them. Take control of what you can.

Eat a sandwich. People aren't going to stop calling you their "little friend samantha" because you get fat, you dolt, but because they're adults who don't need qualifiers for their friendships. Working up all of that self-loathing takes up too much energy that you could be spending doing other things.

Go ahead and lose your virginity in the back of a van filled with music equipment, because you will eventually love that story, but then write that boy off as a business expense of growing up. Don't waste so much time stressing over a boy who thinks he can dismiss you because you are smarter than you are pretty. Also, you will spend a significant portion of at least your early twenties dating emotionally stunted musicians, so you'd do well to develop a sense of humor about it as soon as possible.

Don't expect so much of people. Be vulnerable and open to everything, even though people will hurt you. Love everyone you can, anyway. Stay up all night to watch more sunrises. Take as many road trips as you can. Learn to play an instrument, because as an adult you'll really want to be in a band. Try everything at least twice, and don't be so scared, because people are more forgiving of your faults than you give them credit for. Live with honesty and kindness and be gentle with yourself.


older you

No comments: