Sunday, April 29, 2007

If you were keeping a list of the reasons that it is frequently excellent to be a samantha, you'd have to put near the top of that list the fact that at any given time you could find yourself at a table full of pretty boys and girls, most of whom you could smooch if you felt like it. (And, if you're being a samantha, well, smooching is pretty much at the top of the list of your favorite things to do, so it's great that the option is there.) And while you're sitting at this table full of pretty folks who are making you laugh so hard you feel more intoxicated than you already are, because of the hilarity, you could learn that such a thing as pterodactyl porn exists. And then your life might pretty much be complete.

(Dear people who are turned on by pterodactyls, I'm sort of in love with you. Please don't ever call me, because I'm also kind of completely squicked out by you.)

If you were continuing said list, you could add to it the fact that after said post brunch discussion, a samantha could wander through a pretty spring afternoon towards her cozy apartment, pleasantly buzzed on beer and laughing, while her usually murderous portable music player only makes a couple of jabs at her soft spots. And when she got there, to said cozy apartment, she could return a phone call and have a nice conversation with a great ex whatever. (Dear my ex whatevers, thanks for being largely an excellent group of dudes.) And a samantha could carry on this conversation sitting on her balcony looking at the boats on the lake with a full evening of napping and reading and boat making ahead of her.

These are all good reasons to be a samantha, if you're thinking about trying it.

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