Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Things that have made me laugh and laugh lately every single time I've thought about them (or, The reason I'm so good at living alone is because I crack myself up, but usually no one else):

An acquaintance of mine was at my apartment not too long ago, and when he wandered over to my bookshelves and took a look he suddenly stiffened and yelled, "samantha! You shelve the erotica with the children's books?!" Which I don't, in fact; I'd been looking for something earlier and moved the erotica out of the way, which just happened to be on top of some children's books, and then forgot to move the books back. But now I'm totally thinking about moving them permanently, because that sincerely freaked his shit out.

"Ok, so, did you have Fashion Plates when you were a kid?" "Uh, yeah, actually. Wait, why....did you?"

The message on my home voicemail that said, "Megan...mumblemumble...collard motel....mumblemumbleplease?" I don't know who you are, dude, but that's romance right there. I hope you eventually got through to Megan.

Paul, again: "Remember when we used to play those halfhearted games of spin the bottle? But no one was really into it, because you were the only girl around and kissing you would have been like kissing, I don't know, your sister or the family dog?"

The text message from my ex boyfriend that said, "I just drove past our Perkins" because, seriously, who takes a girl to Perkins on their first date? (You just never mind the fact that we stayed together for the next two years; I was eighteen, and am easily wooed.)

The memory of the look on Scott's face when he came back from the bathroom after daring me to get another round of drinks while he was gone, since I didn't speak any Chinese, only to find four drinks, and on the house too. How did I do it? I smiled at the man, sucker.

In other news, Internet, let's go bowling. I want to drink whiskey and wear someone else's shoes.

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