Sunday, February 15, 2004

It's time for a late(ish) post-theatre Thai meal. It's about 10:30 and so we're seated immediately, at a two-person table that has a heart-shaped balloon in a vase. Across from me, behind Jeff, are four people that I assume, it being Valentine's day, are two couples. The two girls get up to go to the bathroom and the two men, who have evidently never met before, bond instantly.
The one closest to us starts telling the story of how he and his companion started spending time together:
"The fifth or sixth time I left my wife I went down in the basement just to get away from her for a minute, man. And so she calls the cops, tells them that I'm acting funny and scaring her. So they come down--"
"Yeah, they have to do that."
"Yeah. So anyway, I'm barricaded in the closet and she calls. And I tell her I'll call her back when I get out of the closet and talk to the cops. And she's cool with that."

He talks about his first wife, and how she gained 50 pounds right after they were married, "like, 12 or 14 pounds a month!" But what pisses him off the most is that the reason they were divorced is because, after gaining all of this weight, she cheated on him. I'm proud of her.

His second wife, the last one, gained too much weight when she was pregnant.

This leads the other guy to start talking about how -his- last wife turned his hair grey.

My favorite part is when one of them says "I've been like this my whole life, I was like this when you met me."

Eventually, after more male bonding than I ever wanted to be witness to, the girls come back. It is at this point that I realize that the conversation they were having in the bathroom was probably equally as interesting, and I'm sorry I missed it. Jeff had the same thought: "When I heard that starting, I wanted to hear the other side. I was going to tell you to go to the bathroom and see."
But I think I know how that discussion went, and I'll bet that both of those guys got laid last night.

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