Sunday, January 11, 2004

He walked into the pool hall, wearing cufflinks & loafers & looking so good my teeth ached, and I knew that my world was about to change.
Change is a peculiar thing because it always blindsides you. You always think that you'll do this this and this and things will change and then all of a sudden it sneaks up behind you and shows just how little you know. Except, of course, that by you I mean me.
Bethany took one look at him and announced that she thought he was gay, but I knew better. I knew that he was created solely to rock my world, to push things over the edge with those long, sensitive fingers. And that's just what happened, which proves that things really are usually best when we don't get what we want. I often dance around the subject but he shook me to the core, awoke all of my silly little girl insecurities and pulled them out of me one by one like handkerchiefs tied together and manipulated by a magician.
"I hate that."
"Whenever we're out, people just stop and stare at you. They watch you walk, and I feel like your poodle."
"Baby, they can look at me all they want. It's you that I'm walking with."
It's fortunate for me that the smoothness, the beauty and sharp dressing, was all that there was. If there had been anything besides the soul of a dilettante and a playboy under that perfect exterior, I doubt that I would have ever been able to pull myself away. I would have remained a groupie of the worst kind, instead of using the whole humiliating situation as the catalyst to become the independent creature I am today.
Now, the only one who's going to change my world is me.

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